Hmong Shaman Q&A

Thank you to everyone that submitted questions through the survey, sent me emails, and/or through the blog website. It brings me so much joy knowing that there are so many who are curious or want to learn more about Hmong shamanism. Never in a billion years did I ever imagine being a Hmong shaman. But now that I am, a part of me feels obligated and also happy to do so, to educate and bring awareness to this practice, especially as a queer Hmong person.

The responses are mine and mine alone. I encourage everyone to seek answers but more so to keep asking questions and being curious. The only way for our culture to maintain and preserve this practice is to keep asking questions and wanting to learn more.

How did you feel when you were first told that you are gifted?

I was 22 years old when I was first told that I had shaman guides. I was in disbelief because I never would have thought I was destined to be a Hmong shaman. But, a part of me also felt like everything before this moment felt so incomplete. It felt like a huge chunk of who I was, was missing. When I was told that I was chosen to be a shaman, it just felt like a huge relief, like the whole world lifted off my shoulders. Things made sense. I felt a sense of peace but also a wave of nervousness because I did not know what my future would look like as a Hmong shaman. It would disrupt my whole life. At this point in my life, too, this was my last resort considering all that I've done and had gone through. I was in a stage of just accepting whatever would make me feel better.

I knew there was something different from a young age. I had dreams of things before they'd happen, especially deaths. I am also an energy reader, sort of like an empath. I could get a sense of the environment, the people, and things in an area. I kept most of it to myself because I was afraid of what people would say, but also because I normalized all these things that were happening to me. My experiences are normal to me and I wouldn't know otherwise.

Was your family supportive of you when you first started your journey?

My family was supportive only after so many conversations and arguments. Especially as a young person and someone who is queer, people do not think you understand the world. There was a sense of panic and fear from my parents, and I think that comes from not knowing the process and the disruption it would cause. They also feared that as I am without a "wife," that no one would help me. My parents were never really big into Hmong shaman practice but they also never denied its practice either. My paternal grandparents were and still are very supportive of me as a Hmong shaman. When I was going through the spiritual sickness, my grandma was first to think of the possibility of shaman spirits. She helped me initiate my process and initiated the first ritual to confirm my status. I learned my hu plig (soul calling) from her and my grandpa and my grandma teaches me herbal medicine, as she herself is a herbalist. She teaches me how to massage people as she is well known in the community as a medicinal practitioner, although she would deny the title.

From my experience it takes time for everyone in the family to get on board. As new as it was for me, I had to understand that it was something new for my family too. Starting this journey will change the family dynamic drastically. People will have responsibilities they did not ask for or have an interest in. You have to prioritize your time and it affects you family too, especially if they are your helper. My biggest helper and supporter was and continues to be my partner. I was very lucky and fortunate to have him by my side from the very start and he was very supportive and willing to learn as well.

What do you see when your veil is covering your face, especially when you ua neeb (shaman trance)?

This is such a great question because I use to wonder the same thing before I became a shaman myself. In truth, I do not see anything. 95% of the time it is just pitch black under the veil, just like covering your face with a cloth. The other 5%, I do see flashes of light, sometimes visions that come and go, especially if it's a dark or negative entity. In my experience, I do not see my trance as if it is a movie. It is not like how people make it to be nor is it like the music videos that were recently released this year. At least for me and many others, you "see" with your feelings and your sensations. It's a weird complex thing to explain, but our feelings guide our trance and ritual, it guides our vision.

Are you the type of neeb (shaman) that jump on the bench when you trance?

You are referring to the two types of Hmong shamanic benches. The first one is called, "neeb dhia rooj" or literally translated to "shamans jumping bench" which are the very long and flexible benches (figure 1). The second type is called, "neeb ntaug rooj," literally translating to "shamans stomping bench." This type of bench is shorter, thicker, and not flexible. My shaman bench is the one shown in figure 2. I have "neeb ntaug rooj" which is the stomping kind.

The type of bench you have depends on your master, your lineage, and your guides. My family shaman lineage has always been the short stumpy bench, my master's is also the same type, and so my bench follows this as well.

Figure 1

Neeb Dhia Rooj

Note: Image Credit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV8FDzJHJEs

Figure 2

Neeb Ntaug Rooj

Note: This is me on my shaman bench

In what ways (if any) has becoming a Hmong shaman changed your life?

My life has changed drastically since I started my journey. It has given me answers to a lot of my childhood experiences. Becoming a shaman impacts my personal and professional life. There are certain things I can and cannot do because of my shaman guides, and it’s different for each shaman. Some have restrictions on what they can eat, others on where they can be. Mountains, waterfalls, caves, etc are difficult places for me to be in. Things like camping, hiking up mountains or rigorous nature walks are also difficult for me, not because it’s physically tiring, but because it is spiritually exhausting. These are heightened areas with lots of spirits and entities and so I try to avoid them. I hate rest stops that are in the middle of nowhere because people often stop there to eat or snack and there are lots of hungry spirits and ghosts around, causing me to be sensitive to these locations. In addition, I do not eat food at funeral homes. Funeral homes in general are very spiritually triggering. The qeej and the funeral drums make me very emotional even though I don’t know what they’re saying, it’s like I can feel the spirit or the deceased and that makes me very emotional. There are many times, too, when I’d be hanging out in large groups and a spirit is trying to come through to someone who’s in the same room as me. I can usually feel it coming or happening and so if I catch it on time, I just get up and leave. Spirits try to come through to deliver a message or communicate with a loved one and I cannot control it.

Being a shaman has made me look at life in a much different way than I did before. I think it has given me a different meaning to what death means and also appreciating life more. I do not think death is the end at all. It’s not the beginning either, it’s just a different process. I’ve also come to understand reincarnation and I have a deeper connection to that. I’ve met two people from my past life and I have a very strong connection or feeling to them when I see them. I keep these things to myself because there is no reason for them to know about past lives.

Being a shaman does not make me smarter or better than anyone. It does not give me longevity or make me any wealthier or healthier than anyone. We still get sick. Bad things still happen to me just like how it happens to everyone. But I learn to accept it and live with it. Especially as a gay Hmong man and trying to not only navigate that part of my life but also this part as well.

What’s your thought on when it comes to having a shaman master try to shake you if you’ll shake? Can we try to see if we will shake to know for sure that we have guides? Or do we just need to have it confirm by having a trusting shaman confirm? If we know that we have guides, is it “safe” for us to try to see if we will shake even though we aren’t ready yet? (Ready as in within that next 2 years or sooner)

This is an excellent question because there is a lot of conversation around starting one's shaman journey with or without a master. In my opinion and from my personal experience, it is probably best to have a shaman master to confirm and to initiate the test to see if you shake. It becomes very hard to start this journey without having a master to do this with you. I can't relate in terms knowing we have guides for ourselves, because I didn't know, which is why a shaman master confirmed for me. It becomes really, really hard to know what guides you have without an elder shaman confirming for you.

In terms of testing ourselves if we shake or go into a trance, it is not safe for us to do this alone. I say this because anything can happen during a time like that, and at such a new stage, we do not yet have the knowledge to get ourselves out of a bad or dark situation that can arise. We also need to be able to chant to call our shaman bench and also know how to hide our spirit, our home, and close our household door. We need to know what guides can help us do that. Also, we may invite different kinds of entities during this trance and at which point we'll need the help of a shaman master to guide us through. Doing this alone may not seem like such a big deal, but it can cause harm to us and our family or the people we live with. It may not be shaman guides making us shake or go into a trance, but dark entities.

Personally, I think it really helps to have a master to help mentor us and guide us through this stage. It really helps to find a shaman master who is open and honest, patient, not ego driven, not conceited, money hungry, toxic, drama, or talk badly of others. It takes time, as it should, to find the right master. Having a master should not limit us in our knowledge or who we are as a shaman, but they should also enhance and add to who we are. We should welcome their experiences and respect their knowledge, grow with it, and not limit ourselves to it. A master should respect you as their student, help with open arms, and help you succeed. A master should understand that when you succeed, they also succeed.

What kind of guides do you have? If you don’t mind sharing that & what are your color veils?

My kind of shamanic guides are traditional, we call my lineage "Neeb Txwv Zeej, Txwv Txoob." This is ancestral shamanic guides and often is passed down every other generation, although there are exceptions to this. I wear a black color veil. No one in my family, immediate or extended, are shamans. The last person to be a shaman was my great grandfather from my dad’s side. He died in Laos way before my dad even knew him.

I don’t view shaman lineage as better than others or “stronger” than others. I think each lineage brings its own unique story. We should not compare who is stronger than the other because this is not a competition.

Have you thought about just making videos on certain things such as cutting joss papers and/or how to say the wording when it comes to doing certain things, to teach the new risers or the ones that haven’t start their journey yet? Because you should and I would totally support you!

Thank you so much for supporting my blog. I have a youtube that I educate about how to cut spirit paper and the basic things, but no videos on how to say certain things or any self-help videos for new risers. I am so scared to share it with anyone because I don't want to mislead anyone or have them say something that doesn't align well with their guides, then I feel responsible if anything bad happens. If anyone wants to know more or would like advice on what to say, I'm more than happy to do so individually too.

What happened if I dream of a xifu but in reality that xifu and I are not close at all. I do follow this xifu on social media. First dream was 3-4 months ago (in the dream something about I was in trouble and this xifu was in there and I had to thov nws to help me and this xifu was ready to fight lol) . My recent dream, this xifu was at my house and we were just chilling & this was 2-3 weeks ago. Had a few readings done in the past by this xifu as well. Am I just thinking of this xifu too much ? Can it be that my guides want to reach out to this xifu for something? Could it mean that this xifu could be my master whenever I’m ready? Or is it just a random dream ?

Thank you for sharing this with me and submitting your questions. This is a lot more common among shamans than you think. With these types of dreams, it doesn't mean they are destined to be your master, but it can indicate that your guides like something of theirs. It could be their chants, the sound of their gong, etc. If there's a verse that your qhua neeb really likes, they'll make sure you listen to them or gravitate towards them. It can also just mean that your guides are very ready to go off and explore, and so they are attracted to this master. This is why when a shaman ua neebs and if there are other shamans in the same room, they shaman doing the ritual will say, "coj qhua cia koj" which means, "taking my guides except for you."

Listen to this master's gong. Listen to their chants. Their finger bells and how they ua neeb. Do you like the style of their bench? Listen to their story and see if you can relate. If you like everything about this master, this could be a match.

As of today, are you currently mus ua neeb for people?

Yes, as of today I am still performing rituals, but very limited in where I go and what I do. Currently, I do not have all the helpers I need and so doing rituals regularly is very difficult. I am also trying to balance grad school and a full time job.

What is your advice for the ones that haven’t start their journey (as in accept their guides) when it comes to “when” to start. Would you suggest waiting until more symptoms are showing?

Thanks for this question. It feels like there is never a right time to start. It’ll feel like there’s just no way to start the first step because there’s just so much to do and consider. To me, the right time to start is when you start. There’s no need to rush into it because you would rather start when you’ve figured things out vs. to start and be chaotic. With that being said, you also don’t want to stall all the time because it can make things more challenging in the long run. Your symptoms will get worse, and sometimes it can even go to your children (if you have kids). I always tell people, “Don’t wait until the symptoms take over. Start now when it’s not that bad yet.” Make a commitment to work towards starting your journey. Have an open conversation with your spouse or partner, your family, and people you trust. Have a plan on who is the helper and what is expected. You can start looking for a shaman to do a confirmation ritual and start there. The rest will happen as it should.

You never really come to accept your destiny as a shaman. There are many times, even today, where I hate it so much. It’s not like you can turn it off, it’s a part of you just like any body part. It will always be there. Also, when I started my master told me this and I want to share it with you too. Being a shaman doesn’t mean doing rituals every weekend. You get to claim your time still and you get to say yes or no to people. But what you need is an altar for your guides. Being a shaman doesn’t mean you have to do rituals all the time. Simple things like tying a blessed string on a person, a soul calling, learning herbs and medicine, or saib yaig (spiritual reading) all ties into being a shaman. Accepting your destiny as a shaman is not a one time event. You don’t wake up and accept your guides and expect it all to be okay.

When you’re sick, how do you determine if it’s your guides doing it or it is something that you should be seeking medical attention?

Kev mob neeb consists of two things, consistency and persistence. There is a constant sickness that repeats itself (consistency) but happens at random times and also very specific times (persistence). For example, mob neeb comes and goes without any real reason. It'll appear randomly and resolve on its own. It happens over a long period of time. If you suddenly just experience hand pain for the first time, it does not mean that you have shaman spirits. This pain should persist over a long period of time and no other medical options have helped. Now for some shamans, they get sick in very specific situations. For example, some cannot share food with others because their shaman guides consider that unclean. If you notice that every time you share food with others you get sick, that could be a sign. If you share food with someone who has a fever, then chances are you'll get sick. This is why I say it needs to be a constant pattern so that it is not just by chance. I will always say to seek medical help first and follow your doctor’s instructions.

How do you know if you will become a shaman?

This is a very loaded and dynamic question. There are many signs and symptoms to know if you have been picked to become a shaman. First is to look at your shaman sickness or mob neeb. There are many symptoms but I categorize them into two types; physical and spiritual. Physical illness includes pain, constant sickness, experiencing a near death sickness, disease, or even cancer. A spiritual sickness includes psychological symptoms like depression or bipolar, dreams, night mares, night terrors, sleep paralysis, ability to see or predict things before they happen, and psychic abilities.

It is important to have an elder shaman confirm for you. For me, I really didn’t know I was going to become a shaman. This would have never crossed my mind. I was so far removed from my own culture and tradition. But my symptoms have been there since I was five years old and they kept showing up and I kept experiencing them. I’ve always felt like something was missing from my life and I’ve always been in tune to things around me. In my teen years I experienced depression and always felt “kho siab” for no reason. It was a longing for something or someone but not knowing what, who, or why.

Also note that just because you do experience some of these symptoms, it doesn’t mean you are going to be a shaman.

Are you open to people reaching out to you if they have questions on how to do certain things?

Yes, of course. I'll try the best I can. I also can't really spell in Hmong. But do feel free to reach out to me either on this blog or my email at tflhmongshaman@gmail.com

Do you practice any readings at the moment?

Currently I still do readings but very limited. I work full time, still in grad school, and just balancing a lot at the moment with life and personal stuff.

What was your awakening like ?

I started having symptoms when I was five years old. I think my awakening really started when I was 15 years old when I lost a good friend. His death was, to me, what triggered my shamanic guides. It was during a time where I felt the most intense symptoms and experienced the most sleep paralysis, depression, suicidal thoughts, and just inner turmoil. He was my secret crush and so when he died, I couldn’t grieve or show my love for him in a way that I wish I could have. I started to see him in my dreams. I started to have a relationship with him after his death. There were big chunks of time that went missing because, spiritually, I wasn’t here. Not only was I experiencing this with him but I had intense nightmares, night terrors, and was severely depressed.

I started my initiation when I was 22 years old. It was a last resort option for me and it was the first time a shaman elder told me I was born with shaman guides. It all made sense at that point and it made me think about the stuff I was going through as a kid, teen, and young adult. It all made sense to me and it felt like the whole weight of the world off my shoulder.

For the first two years I had a small altar for practice. My master is very open minded and she is very honest, kind, and helpful. She made sure I succeeded in my process and worked to be there for me every step of the way. She invited me to her rituals so that I could follow along and see how she does it. Even with her guidance and the support from my partner, it was a lonely path. I felt very alone in my awakening. I had to relearn my language, and re-evaluate my entire perspective and belief of the world.

This isn't about a dream or anything that happened to me, but it happened to my oldest son; He went to his girlfriend's college graduation ceremony, it was outdoors - he later realized he got bird poop on him? I never really understood the superstition behind this? Can you enlighten me a little...if I should be worried about this?

Thanks for your submission. From my understanding, bird poop is actually a good sign! It symbolizes good luck and fortune. Nothing to be alarmed of.

How do you distinguish the differences between if it’s your guides telling you something and/or it’s just your thought?

When guides tell you something, it is a feeling. You think about it constantly, it’s like an intuitive feeling, and it just wouldn’t feel right if you did not listen or do what your guide is telling you. You can’t stay still or can’t focus unless you respond or accept what it is they are telling you. Sometimes if you ignore them, they’ll make you sick. For example, I tend to not share food with little children because my guides don’t like it. If I do, they make me sick. In another example, I’m an empath, so I am sensitive to energy. When I meet someone who’s energy is toxic, my guides tell me right away.

If I have a xwm kab, can I (the wife) thov upon the xwm kab (if needed) or it has to be the man doing it? If so, when we thov upon dab va dab tsev, what are the things we need to thov? What can a woman do and can’t do when it comes to that category.

Any man, woman, or person can thov upon the xwm kab. Traditionally, only men have done this but there is no “law” or rule that says a woman cannot. Women and men, equally, can do this job because they are the owners of the home, the caretakers of their family.

Xwm kab is a protector of the home. So, you ask them to protect you. Protect your family. Guide you. Watch over you and your family and do not let bad things enter your home. Ask your xwm kab to lead you to health, luck, wealth, and longevity. It is the same for dab vaj dab tsev (household spirits). These are ancestral spirits that help guide and protect you.

How come some families have pieces of joss papers hanging by each door in the house or before entering a room in the house but some families don’t? Does it just depend on the family’s tradition/ancestors/xwm kab? I hope you get what I’m trying to ask here.

Thanks for your question and great observation. It really just depends on the family. There should always be a joss paper hanging on top of the front door and back door. For more traditional families, they will place joss paper in the kitchen or in the middle of the home. I place joss in every room. This way all four corners of the home are protected. These are used for protection, letting spirits and ghosts know that this space is sacred and claimed.