ABOUT ME
My name is TFL Hmong Shaman, and this is my story. I am a Hmong shaman, and my journey began when I was 22 years old. This October 2024 marks my eighth year as a practicing shaman—eight years of profound change, growth, liberation, and reflection. Over these years, I have been shedding old layers, reclaiming my space and identity, learning, relearning, and unlearning, all while striving to live authentically in each moment.
However, my unofficial journey likely started much earlier, when I was just five years old. As a child, I experienced phenomena that set me apart from other kids. I dealt with sleep paralysis, nightmares, night terrors, omens, spiritual visitations, and other forms of spiritual activity. These experiences were so frequent that I began to normalize the spiritual trauma and shamanic sickness I was enduring. As I grew older, these events intensified.
In my blog, I delve into shamanic sickness, or what we call "mob neeb." This sickness followed me throughout my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. During my teenage years, I struggled with depression as my sleep paralysis and night terrors worsened. I also endured physical pain—aches in my legs, back, shoulders, and hands, accompanied by relentless migraines. I kept all of this to myself, fearing judgment and not wanting others to see me as any stranger than they already did. Eventually, the intensity reached a point where I feared I would never wake up from a sleep paralysis episode. At 22, an elder shaman confirmed that I had shamanic guides, and from that moment on, the sickness disappeared. Just like that, I was liberated. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I could sleep peacefully.
Hmong shamans are not self-selected; they are chosen by the spirits, a choice confirmed by an elder shaman. At 22, I embarked on a journey of emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual transformation.
There are many lineages of Hmong shamans, and my lineage is traditional, continuing the work of my ancestors. I have Neeb Txwv Zeej, or ancestral shamans, as my spiritual guides. These guides are passed down through the family bloodline, often skipping generations—though there are exceptions. My great-grandfather was a Hmong shaman in Laos, and although he passed away before I was born, I feel a special connection to him and all our ancestors through our shared shamanic guides. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself as a traditional healer, performing ancient rituals. My shamanic calling even helped me reconnect with my native language, which I had struggled with until I became a shaman.
As I stepped into this new role, I questioned how my queer identity would intersect with my identity as a shaman. However, both parts of who I am coexist harmoniously. I am Hmong. I am gay. I am a shaman. Hmong queer individuals can live fulfilling lives, have families, be successful, and be chosen as shamans. Our empathy and compassion make us uniquely equipped to heal.
Whether you are visiting this blog to learn about Hmong shamanism or seeking answers, support, or validation on your own spiritual journey, this space is for you. You are free to ask questions, explore, and learn at your own pace. My goal is to share my experiences and help guide you on your path, whatever that may be.
TFL Hmong Shaman
