Shadows

Dark. Quietness. Stillness. In the dark alone. Shadows. Where? All around. I became aware of these dark shadows as early as nine or ten years of age. They hung on my ceilings, surrounded my bed, my closet... and often for the longest time seeing these things just seemed so normal. I often tell the story of my sophomore year in college. While sleeping, these tall dark figures surrounded me bed and suddenly one stomped on my chest. I felt chest and back pain for the next two days... this was when I truly feared for my life. The next few short stories are true situations I experienced. Whether these stories may have psychological implications or not, I remember these like they were yesterday...

On 1/24/18 I woke up from a nightmare. Around 4am, I had opened my eyes, paralyzed and unable to move. My eyes were only able to open a little so it looked like I was squinting my eyes. I looked up. I saw a black shadow like person laying on my ceiling. But, it's arm and legs were so disfigured, it almost looked like a giant lizard on my ceiling. I mean, this thing was human size! It's arms were crouched inward while the hands angled outward. It's legs were in frog form, almost bend backwards as if crawling. It didn't have human features though; no shoulder, no waist or hips, no face. It also had a really long fat tail. I saw it moving its head back and forth. It just laid there in my ceiling looking down at me.

Shortly after starting my shaman journey, I came home from college to spend the weekend with my parents. I slept on the sofa in the living room and across from me was my shaman altar. As I was preparing to sleep, I saw a dark child like figure crawling from under my altar table and going behind the other sofa. It was crawling like a 8 month old baby and I saw it clear enough that it looked like a human crawling.

This incident happened awhile ago when I was still in middle school or high school. We were living at my grandma's old house (for family members reading this, you know exactly which creepy house this was). I slept in the only bedroom that was downstairs where the living room and kitchen was, all the while everyone else slept up stairs. There was a bathroom in the bedroom and I always kept that light on. often heard foot steps and yes, I was fucking scared but I didn't want to tell anyone. One night, probably around 11 or midnight, I got up to get a drink of water. I didn't bother to turn on any lights because the bathroom light illuminated enough light into the kitchen that I could see my way around. I soon would regret not turning on the other lights. I opened the fridge and as I closed it and started walking back, there it was. I saw someone sitting at the kitchen table. A Hmong man, sitting at the kitchen table with its head faced down. I saw it in passing so I fucking ran my ass back to the room and slept with the lights on all night. The next morning, a chair in the kitchen was pulled out far enough to fit someone...

Being in college during the hot summers, I never could afford air conditioning. At night, I would sometimes sleep with my foot out. Sometimes, it fell off the bed, other times it didn't. One specific night, it felt like a hundred degrees. I slept with my foot out. I had just shut my eye for about 5 minutes when a hand reached out from nowhere to grab my foot. I immediately retreated my foot and got up and ran to turn on the lights. Thing is, my bed was flat on the floor. I didn't have a bed frame to elevate the bed...That night, I slept with my entire body under the blanket and no matter how hot it was, I felt ice cold on the inside.

My partner was out of town. So, I slept alone in the room. This was well before my parents moved in next door. I had a dream I woke up in the other room (the bedroom nearest to the stairs) and couldn't move. I was on the floor and paralyzed. I couldn't move my body but I could slowly move my head. I felt another body pushed up against my left side. I slowly turned to my left. Someone, dressed in all black Hmong clothes was laying next to me. It was in a long black outfit, those similar worn only by dead Hmong people. Its face was all yellow and purple. Its face was wrinkled. The most disturbing was probably its eyes wide open staring straight up to the ceiling, mouth frozen while it remained locked wide and open... I tried to scream but couldn't. I tried to get up but couldn't. I closed my eyes telling myself to wake up, wake up, wake up!!! I opened my eyes again thinking I'd be in my room. Which I was...but something wasn't right. I still couldn't move. I slowly moved my head to look around and oh my god there it was again!! Fuck!! This time, it was laying on my bed with me. I shut my eyes, prayed to my shamans, and I was finally able to break free. I woke up out of breath. That night, I slept with the lights on.

My partner had gone to use the bathroom one morning. It was about 3 or 4am. The only light that was on was the hallway light. I heard him come in and quietly laid next to me. Didn't say a word. Didn't shut the door. Didn't bother to fix the blanket to cover him. He didn't move. He just simply laid next to me. I could feel his body on my left side, so still and so quiet. What had seemed like hours was only a few minutes. As I turned and reached over to hold him, there was no one there. An empty cold spot. I woke up, confused, looked around, and notice no one beside me. I noticed the hallway light was still on and my partner wasn't laying next to me. I thought he came in already. I had thought he was next to me. He was still in the bathroom...

-tfl