Update

It literally has been almost two months since I last wrote, sorry! I've been really busy with school and helping my parents run a store. I just thought I'd update my friends and family on where I'm at on this shaman journey. It's good to reflect too!

I am about 1% done with my journey. Just kidding! It just feels that way! I've been able to ua neeb (shaman ritual) only once a week on Sunday nights, literally don't get home until 9pm or 10pm because I go ua neeb in Sheboygan and I live in Milwaukee. My xib xwb or master and my grandma say that back in the day in Thailand or Laso, people had a lot of free time in the evening and were able to ua neeb every night or every other night; but for me and a lot of other Hmong shamans, it's different. Some of us have full time school, full time jobs, single parenting, paying rent and bills, and other obligations. So, my xib fwb and grandma have been really supportive and helpful. Talking about grandmas, I call her at least once a week to see how she and my grandpa are doing; grandparents get lonely too! But anyway, I've been slowly making progress and learning new things. I'm learning new things about myself and things my xib fwb and grandma are telling me. My favorite thing about this whole journey, besides helping people, is hearing stories! I am huge fan of stories, especially stories of the old Hmong way and Hmong life. My grandma (pog) tells me stories about her dad and about my grandpa's dad and their shaman stories. My mom tells me about her grandpa and my xib fwb tells me about her family and father in law. I love the stories and I love the history of how Hmong shaman has come to be. Anyway, I digress. These past few months have been alright to me. I've been going over and watching my xib fwb perform shaman ceremonies and rituals. She says that students must follow their master, but must also make their own path. She says I watch her, I follow her, and then I will one day do my own thing, have my own style, learn my own ways, and maybe one day have a student :)

In a few days I will be going over to my xib fwb and she will be showing me and teaching me different types of neeb rituals and ceremonies and what is required. I also have a ton of questions to ask so I'm excited. My dad has been asking a lot of questions too! He's never been the type to learn or have interest in these kinds of things until I started this journey. I can see him really trying. My dad made my shaman bench (rooj neeb) for me and my mom made my clothes for me. I always keep in my heart and in my mind when I'm in a trance that the bench I'm using to travel was hand made by my own father and the clothes I am wearing was made by my own mother. I use this as strength and it is what ties me back to my parents. The shaman bench and my Hmong clothes is a portal or a connection I have to my home :)

I also want to mention my support system. I have to say that my family and my partner are so supportive and encouraging. My partner has been there every time since I started and he's learned so much, along with my parents. My grandparents have been such a blessing because they are also my "teachers." They continue to share with me their knowledge, stories, and experience and that is what truly makes someone rich!

This is where I'm at in my journey. It's kind of a boring post, but just thought I'd share a little of where I'm at.

-tfl